The words escaped his mouth and lifted the weight of the world from his chest. Hr squeezed his eyes shut and opened them blurred with tears. Lady Shimiko met his gaze, and the two of them shared in the icey, windy quiet of the street. He sucked in air through his nose and let it out as a long sigh, then lowered the hood of his robe. For a moment as he craned his gaze skyward, he could pretend he was home.
Home.
He opened and closed his eyes again. Irui knew that he wouldn’t be returning to the snow capped peaks of the Hidden Cloud. Only prison waited for him.
“Let me see your hands.”
Irui half turned towards the voice: A woman’s, the smoker from before. With a shrug he raised them and extended them to full length, his fingers splayed. He pressed his palms into the base of his head, and interlaced them. She was on him before he could turn; she took his wrist in her hand, twisted and pulled it behind his back and drove her knee into the back of his own. Stars exploded into his vision as his cheekbone smashed into the pavement. He gasped as her knee slammed down on his neck.
“Mikiri Irui,” She growled, “You’re under arrest by the Hidden Cloud’s ANBU Black Ops, for crimes against the Land of Lightning, and Land of Earth. You have a right to a military trial and to remain silent.” She planted her palm on his cheekbone, and pressed his face firmly into the ground, getting in a good twist that abraded flesh. He gritted his teeth and cried out as loose stone bit into his skin.
The woman bent low, her lips hovering beside his ear. “Enjoy it.”
-||-
“I want him awake, just for a moment.”
“Administering now….Vitals are stable.”
Light exploded into his eyes, wrenching them open. He winced under the harsh glare, squinting skyward as his vision swam. Vast shapes, shadows, loomed, garbed in green. Something shifted inside, a sharp pain to the left of his jaw and he gagged. Tubes had been stuffed down his throat, and into his nostrils. Swallowing only brought pain. He could feel them, like snakes, trailing down his insides into his gut and lungs. A moment of alarm jolted him to rise, but a surgeon’s steady hand twisted a knob, and it passed.
“The Hidden Cloud’s Black Ops division was kind enough to retrieve you from the scrap bin.” Spoke a woman dryly. “Welcome to Project Neo-Sanguinis.”
Dimly, Irui twisted his head. Bags of red hung above him, trailing red cords that he now realized connected to his arms and legs. He tried to form words, to make a sound from his throat, the tubes pressed tightly against his vocal cords.
Shit…. His thoughts gasped, Who…. Who is this?
A hand appeared out of his peripheral vision, flicking a syringe.
Not again…Goddammit all Shimiko….
The needle sank into a port on his arm, a thumb depressed the liquid into his veins. Warm radiated from his elbow, and cascaded towards his fingertips and up through his shoulder, before sluicing into his chest cavity. He felt his lungs balloon as air forced itself into them. The heat continued to spread, and before he knew it, his eyes had closed.
“Wake the up. You’re going to be late.”
“Late for what?” Irui groaned as rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He rolled over onto his side, and blinked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It flashed rolling numbers in brilliant red. “That’s… that’s…. What time is it? MOM?”
He threw the covers aside and stumbled upright, hopping on one foot as he shoved his foot into his sandal. Hurriedly he fished for pants and dashed to his closet, looking for a clean haori. He thumbed through the hangars and finally grabbed a blue and white robe in his fist and threw it on. Irui’s dark eyes danced over the room, skittering across the bed, his desk, and wall hooks for the white sash of his shinobi headband.
“Shit shit shit….” He cursed as he mussed his hair. Maybe they wouldn’t notice, maybe he could skip through the morning. “MOM?!” He hollered again towards the open door. “Where did you go?!” Her footsteps had vanished into the dimly lit corridor. A light popped into a room down the hall.
“Irui, come down here, you have company.”
“Company?” He echoed, and ventured into the hall. “We never have company….” His foot crunched against the floor, and he looked down to find grass rising from the dark. He stepped again, and met the distinctive crunch of stones. “Mom, I swear I’ll clean this up I didn’t mean to-- I didn’t know I…” He bent down and began scooping it into his hands. Char and ash met his nose. “MOM?”
Irui looked up and dusted his hands.In the twilight he squinted at the black and grey ash as it spilled through his fingertips.
“Irui I said you have company.”
“Right… Mom... “ He picked himself up, and peered into the golden, morning light spilling into the kitchen. His eyes settled on the narrow frame of his mother, swathed in a coral apron. Her back was turned to him as she scrubbed dishware . He’d always admired her black hair compared to his Mikiri grey. It flowed in the wind, with a glossyness that reminded him of obsidian glass.
The cowled, rumpled form of a cloaked woman sat at the table. A steaming cup of coffee or tea beside her. The pale, weathered face of Mora turned to him and smiled. “Don’t be rude boy, its been too long. Come sit.”
“What is this?” He choked.
She raised the cup to her thin lips and sipped. “Same as always. Always asking questions, always hesitating.”
Irui pulled a table out, and took a seat across from her. She smiled thinly at him, and returned to her drink. Mora’s grey hair fell at the edges of her face in uneven clumps. As he studied her more closely, smudges of soot and grime flecked her features. She returned his gaze with her coal dark eyes.
“Why are you here?” He ventured after a moment. “Why now?”
“The same reason we all are, dear.” She murmured, cradling her cup in her hand. “Will your father be joining us, or will this be a small get together?”
“Oh!” His mother chirped from the sink, setting down a plate with a clatter. “He’ll be along soon, just you wait. He’ll be home any day now!”
“My-my father?” Irui asked incredulously and returned to his mother’s form, silhouetted against the morning light. “My father is dead. You know this! He isn’t coming home! He couldn’t support the Clan--”
“And neither can you.” Mora ventured cooly, “You need to understand the difference between a want and a need. You only want it. Just like you only wanted the Church. You only wanted to be Chuunin…..” She cocked an eyebrow, “You never learned to NEED something, like I needed something.”
He felt himself bristle at the remark and balled his hands into fists and shot up from his chair. “I understand perfectly fine!”
“No, you don’t. You only understood when your life was on the line.” She smiled now, showing stained teeth and gold fillings. “People only understand who they are when you put a knife to their throat. When they know there is nothing else but the here and now, and everything that comes next hinges on what they do in the present. Only then do people understand themselves and the things they are willing to do to survive.” Her bony hands raised to the hem of her hood, and she pulled it back, then fluffed her hair. “Am I wrong?”
Mora motioned with her finger, tapping on the table. “Sit.”
Irui ground his teeth, and reluctantly returned to his seat. He shot a glance to sink, to find it vacant of his mother’s presence. He craned his neck, and twisted to look around. The house had grown still and quiet.
“A want, dear Irui, is something you crave, but a need… A need is very much like water. We all need water to survive.” Her cold eyes moved from Irui back to her drink, and she looked into it with marked stoicism. “Stop wanting things. You must need them. Your entire life has been defined by the plots of the many, my own included.” Her eyes flicked to meet his again, and he stared back.
There was no glint of life in her irides. They drank in the light of the room. He wondered if his own had that same look; the dark circles, the beginnings of crows feet. He was so tired, so very tired of it all, and she was right. He swallowed hard and averted his gaze.
“Its curious that Lord Jashin would sculpt your life with fire.” Mora mused, and pulled a silver lighter from her pouch. She flicked it open, and flame spat from its top. “Mogiri’s flame, the Civil War….” She nodded to him and grinned slyly. “Our duel.”
Irui started to speak, but found his words caught in his throat. He doubled over, gagged, and and clutched his sides. A horrible heat sparked from within, skin hissed and blistered. What began as a gasp, quickly clawed its way to a howl of agony that ripped itself from his throat. Smoke poured from beneath his clothes, Embers tinged blue whorled into the air, and ate holes through his haori, bursting into full fledged flames.
“You will always be burned, Irui.” Mora continued, her voice sharpening to a hiss. “You will always be burned by others until their muses run dry, and you are left with nothing.”
He rolled onto the floor and struck the tile hard. His thrashing legs snapped a leg from beneath the chair and it tumbled loudly/ The vaguely cool tile pressed against his flesh. It did little to hold back the flame as he clawed and his clothing. He screamed for his mother, for his father, for anyone to come, but his scorched lungs and throat yielded nothing. Through ghostly blue flame he looked up into the face of a looming Mora.
“I’ll say it again. What do you need?!”
Irui reached up with a charred and blistered hand, feebly grasping at air.
What do I need? The fire overtook his thoughts immediately, devouring them as it ate away at his flesh. His body twitched and jerked, and he lay naked in a pile of ash and burnt cloth, rolling back and forth across the tile, hoping to smother the flames. Sparks of electricity snapped from his fingertips and he looked to the sink, brimming with soap and dishes.
“I need to belong….”
The lightning exploded from his hand, shearing the table in two. It snapped wildly against the sink, cracking the ceramic basin. Lightning tore into the sink, and pried open the fracture. Black, iridescent fluid gushed onto the floor. It ran like water, shone like oil. He slipped and fell onto the tile, his wounds smoking and hissing.
“I need to belong!” He barked and he reached out, with electricity skittering wildly now. : I want to belong to the Hidden Cloud!!” His thoughts coalesced, to Tsuki, Sora and Bobi. “I don’t want to be an outcast!!”
The sink exploded, and the black water cascaded into the room, washing over him as a cold tide. He’d done all those things, all those horrible things just to belong to someone. He wanted so badly to belong to the Church, to be at Mora’s side. To be seen as an asset of immeasurable value. Lady Shimiko too had taken him under her wing, and he’d craved what she’d achieved-- her authority, her strength. He’d craved everything, asking for pieces and crumbs, never taking it for himself.
He squeezed his eyes shut as the water became a river. Pipes burst, windows shattered, and before long, the walls groaned and buckled. The kitchen collapsed around them, the flames died, and he was left cold, alone and naked. It took him, swallowed and plunged him beneath its surface, ripped the air from his lungs. Water became grasping fingers and hands, and from the dark, materialized all manner of human limbs. They grasped, and pulled, dug nails into his skin. Between the tangle and frenzy, there were faces too-- men, women, and cherubic children-- some laughing, others screaming, wailing. He let out a hoarse, strangled scream of his own, that escaped bubbles. They only pulled him down further. He tasted iron, hot, sticky iron, and salt, and the sickly sweet of burning flesh filled his nose.
“I didn’t mean---”
“Oh but you did.” Mora’s voice whispered, “You answered Lord Jashin’s call to cull the herd, to thin their numbers. You pruned and slashed with abandon.”
“That wasn’t me-- !!” Irui protested. A thick arm wrapped itself around his neck, holding him fastat the crook of his elbow. Fingers dug into the side of his head. Another bore fingers into his neck, and all the while the screaming and wailing grew louder. “I-- I attacked those people, in the name of Lord Jashin. They were innocents, just trying to evacuate the war zone, and I slaughtered them! I killed soldiers, I killed families---I--!!”
Lightning flared in his hand anew and surged into the deep, illuminating the forest of hands and arms with ghostly purple, severing limb from limb. The screaming only grew, and with it, so too did the lightning; a rippling, wild surge that hissed and skittered, flashing with violence. He clawed his way to the surface and gasped as he forced air into his lungs. A current had gathered itself beneath him, the water sank and rose, undulating rhythmically as a tide . Try as he might, he could not summon the chakra to lift himself onto the water’s surface, his toes and hands couldn’t find purchase, and he resigned himself to float on his back.
“What is this?” He questioned, and gazed upwards at the river of stars twisting through an obsidian sky. He wiped the saltwater from his eyes and let the scenery drift. “I’ve always been a tool for others. What am I even doing here?” He asked aloud, and then with a full throated voice:
“WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! WHAT IS THIS?”
His words died in the night air, swallowed by the waves.
“WHERE AM I?!” He screamed.
A sharp crack split the air, roaring like great thunder, heralding a burning spear that cut through the cloud-- a shooting star, no a meteorite! It burned white hot, flaring with tinges of orange and emerald as it plummeted through the atmosphere. With a great flash of heat and light it smashed into the distant features of snow-coated island; the death-strike of the meteor resounding across the open water.
He craned his head towards them, half dipping his face in the dark water to look. They loomed ever closer, and soon he was able to make out features. The ridgelines, the spires, the curl of a beach. He knew those frostbitten features well. Further beyond the island still, he could see others on the horizon, growing steadily higher and higher until they formed a crown ringed by clouds. The ocean’s current now took hold, and with alarming speed, he found himself flipped over onto his stomach as the waves careened forward. He coughed and spat,, paddling and clawing the water in an effort to stay upright. Salt water filled his nose and mouth. Head over heel he tumbled through the water, he knee bashing into his cheek, naked hip abrading against sea stone. He felt the sea floor rise up from beneath him, pressing against his stomach as it carried him forward and onto the beach itself.
Irui reached forward, his bones and muscles aching as the cold seeped into them. He crawled on hands and knees as bits of stone and broken seashell bit into his calf, hauling himself from the surf to finally rest against a slab of rock. The warm glow of fire flickered just beyond the beach, smok poured from a gaping wound torn into the mountain’s face. Limping, Irui picked his way across the beach, tumbling and slipping until he made his way towards the crater. If there was flame, there was heat, and if anything, a moment’s rest.
The smoke and sulfur grew stronger as he approached. Hot meltwater trickled over stone, gushing from the icy crater that lay ahead. Finally, he came to stand at its rim, and found not a smoking rock, but a sarcophagus of sorts. All metal and glass, with small lights dancing in synchronized fashion across its surface. Its lid had been caved and cast aside, glass sprinkled across the exterior. Char caked the coffin’s surface. Score marks, still burning red hot, punctured the exterior.
It wasn’t a coffin, he realized. It was a boat of some kind; there was cushioning and compartments. His eyes soon spotted red-- blood, spattering the glass, a handprint on the inside where the lid had been thrust open. He squinted, here and there amongst the flame and wreckage, there were footprints, and began to trace a staggering trail up the side of the crater, until at last, he came upon a rumpled cloth, crawling upon the ground on all fours.
“Hey….!” Irui shouted, “HEY! STOP!” His feet gathered beneath him, and he began to limp around to the rim of impact. He pushed off a rock, and staggered forward, trying to pick up speed across the hot and jagged ground. Stone cut into his soles, leaving bleeding wounds, lacerated his pads and heel and he cried out.
A sharp jolt wracked his chest.
A second caught him, and brought him to his knees.
Irui doubled over, grasped at his abdomen, grimacing until a third jolt brought the ground upwards to collide with his face.
He jolted upright, blinding fluorescents and an alarm screaming into his ear. He lurched forward, grasping at tubing and wires only for men and women in white to rush forward. They pressed him against the pillow of the hospital bed, applying pressure on his shoulders. Others secured straps to his wrists.
“He’s crashing!” Someone hollered. “Get the doctor!”
- || -