Those Poor Bandits

Spoiler:

Itaken was walking towards the Hiyoto province with his two companions. He was sure they were going to ask about his appearance at some point, but he didn't really care. He would answer their questions just as he had answered everyone else's questions since he had gotten back. Hopefully the two of them weren't going to try and go much faster, because there was no way in hell he would be able to keep up without using one of the gates or the Body Flicker, and he really didn't feel like using that for such a long distance run since he'd likely die from stamina exhaustion before he got there.

If one of the other two didn't break the silence, Itaken would take the initiative. It was surprising, really, since he hadn't done that yet since coming back to his home. "So, um... Do either of you know many details on these bandits? I wasn't, uh, wasn't given much information. Just got told to be there and help," he said in a relative monotone. He was just looking for information after all, so there was no need to get too excited about it.

And it was true. All he really knew about the mission is that the bandits were somewhere in the Hiyoto province and that they were supposed to scout them out. They could kill them too if they felt that it was possible, which frankly, Itaken saw no reason why it wouldn't be. What were they going to do? Bust out the strongest jutsu mankind has known and blast him in the face with it at point blank range? He found that highly unlikely. No, the outcome of this mission was all but assured if they found where these guys were at. Even if Itaken wasn't the one to kill them, he could sure as hell put the fear of god into them before they died. He was good at that.

Throughout their walk, Kimiko couldn't help but catch herself staring at Itaken on occasion. His body was something of a marvel, and while not a super "manly man" body, it certainly was eye catching. It looked emaciated, as if he hadn't eaten in ages. He walked so slow, Kimiko had to wonder if he was even ready for this mission. His fight with the Senju clan head must have taken a lot out of him. Perhaps that was why she and Kagami had also been assigned to the mission. While Itaken was a Jounin as well, he didn't currently appear to be quite in shape for a fight, and so an Uchiha Jounin and genin would be plenty to ensure his safety.

Yeah, that made sense to Kimiko. She was fine walking at his pace though, taking the time to look around at the magnificent surroundings of Konoha's lands. Even out of the forests, the lush greens and hills were nice. The entire country was a very wonderful place. The slow pace let her actually get to appreciate everything for once. Kimiko was almost always in a rush to finish her missions, so she didn't often stop to see everything.

Rather, it was fine for a little while, until she realized they would have to take the same pace on the way back, and Kimiko's sense of wonder was staunched for a little bit, replaced with a sour expression.

At some point, he asked about the mission, having not really received a lot of information about them. Kimiko herself had been given plenty of information on the mission, leading her to believe that she might actually be in charge here? Oh. She hadn't been quite expecting that. "Oh, yeah. Quick mission brief I suppose. Caravans have always reported a group of 4 bandits. One is obviously the leader, quite skilled, one is his second in command, and then two obvious lackeys. No note of jutsu used, so probably not rogue ninja. Uh.... yeah, not a whole lot of real information on them. Weaponry seemed to be pretty basic. 2 clubs primarily used, with nails sticking from them. Everyone's got bows I think, or at least enough of them seem to. One uses a greatsword, one uses a massive hammer. I'm guessing they're pretty strong at least physically, and at least fast enough to have avoided capture so far, and able to take on the normal caravan guards between the 4 of them. So I don't know. Obviously ninja are different though."

Kimiko provided a good explanation of the mission, Itaken nodding as she spoke. Thankfully she didn't seem to mind the slow pace too much, though it was hard to tell right now. The way back would be the true test of patience. "Sounds easy enough," he commented. "Do... do you want to kill them once we find them?" It wasn't a question of being able to find the bandits, Itaken was positive that between the two of them there would be few issues with accomplishing that task. But he was curious about how she functioned as a kunoichi as well as how she thought as a person. He didn't particularly like thieves and bandits, people who fought and killed to steal from someone else.

He was glad to accept missions that included killing them. Fighting should be something one does to protect or when required, not something that should be used to take from the helpless. It was a sign of weakness in his mind, and weakness was something he disliked too. Itaken noticed something a little odd at that point; the lack of the genin. He turned his head to peer over his shoulder, unsure on whether or not the genin was coming or not. "Any idea where your cousin is? Do they like to sleep in?"

To be quite honest, Itaken wouldn't mind if the genin stayed behind. This was a fairly high ranking mission to take a genin on, and they would be in an abnormal amount of danger. If these guys were better than absolute trash, it was always possible a stray arrow could take the poor kid in the gut. Itaken could heal it, of course, but he'd rather not have to worry about that if he didn't have to. When he thought of that, another thought crossed his mind. "I should also probably tell you I'm a medical shinobi," he said in a level tone. "So let me know if you get hurt."

Kimiko nodded. "I mean, we could kill them, sure. I know they've killed people already, and taken things when it came to a fight. So they kinda deserve it I'd say." Killing was easy to Kimiko. There were people who refused to kill anyone, but training as a Kunoichi or Shinobi, you really had to get used to killing. The military wasn't exactly the best place for that sort of idealistic nonsense that some of the younger shinobi seemed to hold. A refusal to take a life? No, Kimiko wasn't that type of girl.

That said, she wasn't a murderous monster either. If there was no need to kill someone, she wasn't going to just for the sake of killing. "We'll see, I guess. If it happens, it happens. If they surrender, we'll take them in. Most of my jutsu are capable of putting someone down lethally, but I got some level of control too, ya know?"

Itaken noticed the lack of the genin Uchiha, and asked about it. Kimiko simply shrugged. "I don't really know. I'm not his keeper, nor his sensei. If he decided not to show up, I can put that in the report, but it's neither here nor there. I'm plenty capable myself. Especially after Hokage Neko-sama let me pour over some of the exclusive scrolls and learn some stuff upon my promotion." No point in getting mad at him not showing up. At the pace they were moving, if he decided to come late, he'd probably still make it anyhow.

As Itaken mentioned he was a medical shinobi, Kimiko looked to his emaciated form and couldn't help herself. She let out a burst of laughter at the mention of him healing her. "No need to worry about me, Ita. Can I call you Ita?" she said, shortening his name to a little pet nickname. If he asked her to not do that, she wouldn't, to his face anyhow. "Don't worry though, I'll let you know. Don't let yourself get hurt though, I'll try and keep you safe. That's probably why I'm here anyhow, so the Senju don't lose their new clan head so quickly after your victory. I assume it took quite a bit out of you?"

Might as well ask, after all, they were going to be a while yet. There was something about the way this guy spoke. Level, as if weighing every thought without emotion and with pure logic. Or just speaking what popped into his head, as long as it pertained to their conversation. This Jounin was either going to be really interesting, or extremely boring, Kimiko decided.

Itaken nodded at Kimiko's initial responses. He chose not to say anything at her mention of having an arsenal of lethal techniques, not liking to openly brag about what he could do. No, Itaken was a man that like to prove his skill through actions rather than words. Then she asked if she could call him Ita, to which he would glance at her and raise an eyebrow. That was the first time anyone had asked him that since he got back. For some reason people were a little frightened of him, he didn't really understand why. "Um, I suppose. Only if I get to call you Kimi, though." He gave an awkward little grin, something he hadn't had the opportunity to do much in recent years. Talking to people was still a problem, but he wanted to work on that. So fuck it.

She had laughed at his comment about healing her too, for some reason. Itaken knew most people weren't really able to hurt him so he mostly used his medical knowledge for other people. She made a few more comments about his health, saying she wouldn't let him get hurt. When Kimiko said that, Itaken started chuckling softly but heartily. His hand covered his mouth, though he would continue to laugh for a good ten seconds. A single tear rolled out of his eye as he tried to get a hold of himself.

He turned to Kimiko, a wide grin on his face this time. "You... don't need to worry about that. I did use up a lot of what I had in the tank against Yamato, but I've had a couple days to recover. Now I just need to let my body heal and I'll be back to normal." He paused here unwillingly, another little chuckle escaping his lips.

"I'll make you a bet, Kimi," he began again, eyeing her mischievously. "The bandit with the big sword and the bandit with the big hammer, if they try to fight I'll let each one of them hit me solidly one time. If they can hurt me, I'll give you my earnings for the mission. And if they can't so much as leave a bruise, you have to give me yours." Itaken kept his smile up after this, waiting to see what Kimiko said. Most of what Itaken had said was said in almost the same even tone, though at various points there were hints of amusement there. He was good at staying focused, but if you could make him laugh he would crack just like anybody else would.

"Absolutely! All my friends call me Kimi, so no problem." Kimiko grinned. Itaken was nice enough, she would have thought he would ask her not to call him Ita, but he'd responded in the same way. He was a little bit awkward, Kimiko could tell. That was fine. Not everyone was a people person, but that didn't matter. Everyone deserved someone they could be friendly with.

Apparently she was funny herself though, as a comment she had made got the man in tears through his laughter. It appeared to her that he found the concept of being damaged a funny one. Moments later, he confirmed to her that he had drained a lot of stamina during his fight for the Clan Head.

Recovery was going to be a long enough road for him it seemed. Then, though, he made a bet. Kimiko was incredibly intrigued by it. "Oh, I see. Either you're bluffing, and I'm going to call it, or you're not, and this will be worth paying to see. I'll take that bet. You take a strike from each of them without any sort of guarding. Even the smallest bruise though, the smallest cut, and your money is mine. You're on!"

Kimiko wasn't an idiot. For him to make this bet, he was damn sure he wouldn't get injured. Whether it was cockiness or arrogance, nobody would actually take that bet. He had to be right about it, otherwise it was just an insane claim. And to be fair, people were often surprising. Kimiko herself could survive being launched through concrete walls without any issues. It wasn't unheard of. Still, that man must have monstrous durability if he was going to take a sword strike.

Itaken nodded, holding his right hand out for Kimiko to shake. It was always good to seal something like this with more than words, even if it was just a simple handshake. Plus, it was a sign of respect. You didn't offer to shake the hand of a person you had a great disdain for, after all. "I think you'll be surprised either way," he said smoothly. Itaken then turned his attention forward, the corner of his mouth still tugged up in a small half grin. Still amused, but his mind was set on the mission at hand. That was his goal today. "We need an idea on how to drag these guys out to come talk to us rather than trying to search the land for them. Too many trees," he noted somewhat dryly.

He fell silent for a moment, trying to think of something. "We could try and find a local village without our headbands on and ask around, see if they've been extorting any of them and if so, where. Perhaps we want to join this profitable enterprise of theirs and want to talk," he said, leaving the end of his statement open to allow Kimiko to fill in the rest of what his idea was. Try and draw them out by offering to join them, then do what the mission requested them to do. The two of them were likely going to be gone for at least two or three days if they were lucky, so trying to shorten the time it took to get face to face with these guys sounded like a good game plan to Itaken. Efficiency was his method, and hopefully Kimiko agreed or had a good idea of her own that Itaken could get behind.

So far he liked the Uchiha. Most of them were moody or unpleasant to be around, but she seemed to be able to laugh and find the humor in things like normal people could. Itaken was far from normal himself, so to have the stereotype disproved right in front of his eyes gave him a little bit of hope for himself. He had noticed that his words had come smoother the last couple exchanges, the Senju clan head dropping his uncertain uhs and ums after Kimiko had made him laugh. The tension relief was real, that was for sure. She didn't seem to mind him either with as willing as she was to accept his bet. That was good. He had been a little worried that his appearance and lack of social interactions would put his partner in a state of unease. Being off-putting was just one of his talents for now and one he hoped he could get rid of.

They sealed the deal with a handshake, affirming that they were both serious on their ends. Kimiko was already counting the money for the mission as a loss, but she was interested to see the look on the Bandits' faces when they took their swings and didn't do jack shit to Itaken.

But back to the mission at hand. Itaken was correct, finding a group of bandits wasn't going to be an easy task, given that they weren't exactly the type of people who looked like a usual mark would. The two of them didn't have a caravan, nor did they appear to be all that wealthy. Looking for them would take some time, yeah. Perhaps it was better for them to draw the bandits out somehow rather than the other way. At least Itaken seemed to use his head.

"Sounds good enough to me. Alternatively, I would have suggested that we find some travelling merchants or something, join up with them and wait for them to strike. But I think your idea is better. A local town might be our best bet. They'd probably know which roads get hit the most. It'll be easier with at least some sort of location."

Kimiko thought about it for a bit. "I might need to use the transformation jutsu. I'm not really a super imposing looking girl, ya know? I doubt they'd think I was a serious bandit. You, on the other hand...." Kimiko eyed the Senju up for a moment. "Yeah, you look the part. Let's do it. Your plan seems good."

Itaken nodded at Kimiko's acceptance of his plan. He was a little surprised when she said he looked the part despite his haggard appearance. Perhaps she was just being polite now? Itaken couldn't really tell, to be honest. It's not like it mattered either way when it came to fulfilling the mission. As long as they got along well enough to do that, he would be happy. Now, once she lost this bet he wouldn't mind getting his first meal in years with the Uchiha jonin. Everybody liked food, right? He couldn't see how they couldn't after being without it for so long.

"Okay, then we have to find a settlement of some sort near there. If I remember right, there's an old logging town near there that acts as a bit of a resting place between a couple of major towns. That sounds like a spot to hit merchants since the security wouldn't exactly be top notch there." Assuming Kimiko was okay with that plan of action, Itaken would be sure to lead them to this logging town. He had stopped there a couple times as a chuunin on some missions and had actually been accosted by a few bandits on his way out on one occasion. That was a day he never forgot. The day he realized that, if he put his mind to it, he could essentially be living armor. It was a good memory in his opinion, but that's a story for a different day.

At their pace, the town would be a good day away. Hopefully Kimiko had his level of patience, since it almost drove him nuts to be going that slow. "The town is about a day away..." he said, slightly awkward as the knowledge that might annoy most people was front and center in his mind. "I spent a long time being a target, so I didn't really have to worry about being too fast," he started to explain levelly, "It was a good idea at the time, but it doesn't make missions too fun. Sorry," he finished. Itaken would be sure to try and do a bit of small talk as they got to the village to fill in the dead space, though the Senju clan head was also positive that he would be absolutely terrible at any actual execution of conversation. He was good at hitting things and letting things hit him, not so much at talking to people.



(We can skip ahead to the town or we can talk on the way there and break it up into a few hours between every few rounds of posting to get to know each other if you'd like. I'm good with either. Itaken's slow ass has a few advantages at least )

"Sure thing, then. Logging towns seem to be pretty neat. I know they tend to have some big beefy lumberers." Kimiko almost drooled at the thought. "And in my experience, where lots of strong men accumulate, there tends to be.... plenty of alcohol! And big strong men love buying cute little innocent girls like me alcohol." If there was one thing Kimiko liked, it was having a good time. And she hadn't actually paid for her own drinks in ages. It was the perfect plan.

She knew what she was going to do after they finished the mission. "Lead the way then, Ita!" They headed towards the logging town, but the longer they walked, especially with Kimiko being the one following Itaken, the more and more Kimiko was starting to grow impatient. After a while, she was almost completely fed up with it.

"Alright, no. I'm carrying you, you're far too slow. It'll take forever to get there otherwise." Kimiko said, moving in front of Itaken. She was about to get into a stance to get prepared to carry her companion, when she realized that was probably going to get tiring after a while with him as a full grown person. Kimiko's stamina wasn't endless, and she didn't want to grow super tired before they even arrived where they were going.

"I don't know, use the transformation jutsu, turn into a kid or something. I still need directions to the town, but you're probably heavier than I want to deal with before a mission, so I'll need you to weigh less but still be able to talk."

Luckily, the transformation jutsu was a super low cost jutsu, easy enough to maintain for extended periods of time as long as you weren't injured. With Kimiko's base speed alone, they would gain quite a bit of time, which Kimiko was all for. She wasn't a super impatient girl, but an entire day of travel would be completely and utterly insane.

Assuming that Itaken consented to this plan, they would drastically improve their time. If he didn't, Kimiko would start to run circles around Itaken as they moved, just bringing up anything that came to her mind so that they didn't grow bored. She would have a lot of time she'd need to distract herself, without any real ability to explore her surroundings to a full extent, so circular running would have to suffice. If Itaken was picked up though, things would be much smoother and direct, at Kimiko's speed rather than Itaken's abysmally slow pace.

Kimiko seemed fine with Itaken's plan at first which put him at ease. She didn't even seem to mind that it was going to take a day or so thanks to his... lethargy. That is, she was fine with it for the first couple hours. Then she started to get impatient, obviously having grown accustomed to how quickly most shinobi could move. Itaken wouldn't doubt that this girl could run circles around him if she wanted to without there being much he could do to stop her other than wait for her to tire out. However, it was her method to fixing the solution that made Itaken give a small grin directed towards Kimiko.

"You want to carry me, eh?" He sounded slightly amused at the suggestion to which Kimiko would respond in the affirmative. She suggested the transformation jutsu to make the task a little easier for her to accomplish, though he'd have to transform into something she could carry as well as something that he could communicate to her with. Itaken thought for a moment, his head tilting back slightly as he looked up in thought.

"Well," he began, a mischievous look in his eyes, "I could always transform into a kid that's inside one of those carrying things mothers wear over their chests to keep their kids nearby." It was a cheeky solution to her suggestion, the jonin making a bit of a crude joke. A fully grown man chillin' on a woman's chest, bouncing against her the entire time she was running... It may not be every man's dream, but it's not something most men would decline to participate in either.

Without waiting for a response, he would weave the appropriate seals to utilize the Transformation jutsu. A poof of smoke later and in Itaken's place was a child that looked like Itaken, except, well... as a kid. He looked to be as if he was about two years old, though his eyes were still as hard as the eyes of any experience shinobi. Around him was a a contraption that wrapped him like a harness with two straps that were larger that were meant for the mother to carry.

Itaken reached his hands out and stuck out his lip in a mock plea to be picked up by Kimiko. He hadn't ever really been the joking type due to the way his mind worked, but in his time away from society he had gotten very lonely despite his drive to continue on. The social anxiety, awkward speech, and now this attempt at a joke was him trying to adjust himself so he didn't feel awkward all the time. To be honest, he wasn't sure if it was working and the thought that this might offend Kimiko never crossed his mind. He just thought it was funny. That, and if she said yes... well, then this would be a good day.

The mischievous look on Itaken's face wasn't exactly lost on Kimiko, who stared back at Itaken for a moment, raising an eyebrow slightly before shrugging. "...... works for me. Leaves my hands free, at any rate." Kimiko picked up the now 2 year old Senju Clan leader, sliding her arms into the straps of the harness so that Itaken was secured well against her flak jacket. Most people probably would spend some time thinking about this, but Kimiko was pretty practical. It certainly beat going at a snail's pace the entire way.

She had been expecting something more like a piggy back carry or a bridal style carry, but whatever worked, really. Now she looked like a really young mother or something like that. Or just a ninja returning a lost child? Whatever people wanted to think. It wouldn't be something completely unheard of.

Kimiko took off at a brisk run, immediately making the difference between the two's speed known. Kimiko's speed was that of the average Jounin, and with her levels of stamina, she could maintain the run almost indefinitely assuming she wasn't doing anything else too strenuous. The super light toddler was easily managed, and while it wasn't a super comfortable ride, for someone of his constitution, it shouldn't even be a problem to the Jounin at all.

-

They'd make it close to the Logging town given the occasional direction input from Itaken, and once they were close enough it would make sense, Kimiko would remove the child from her chest, setting him down. "We can walk from here." She was fairly happy with the time that they'd saved, and was comfortable going at Itaken's pace once again.

Itaken blinked when Kimiko didn't bat an eye at the suggestion. She up and went for the idea with, not gusto, but more of an accepting tone than anything else. And that's how Itaken found himself, a fully grown man, being carried like a child for miles upon miles against the flak jacket hardened chest of an Uchiha woman he had just met. What an interesting day this had turned out to be. Itaken made sure to provide the appropriate directions to get Kimiko to where they were going. After some time she would declare that they could walk from that point on and Itaken would release the transformation jutsu.

Then he realized that he had done that a bit too quickly, appearing directly in front of Kimiko due to how close they had been before. Itaken was only perhaps an inch or so from touching the jonin Uchiha which didn't really bother him that much. "Sorry about that," he said evenly, stepping back to give Kimiko a bit more breathing room. "Still used to just doing things on instinct, I guess," he explained with the corner of his mouth barely turned up into the hint of a grin. The Senju clan head fell in next to Kimiko as they finished their journey to the logging town. Before they got within range, Itaken would silently remove his headband and stow it in a pocket he had on his pants. If they were going to be acting like people who wanted to join a bandit group, they couldn't be spotted as Leaf shinobi.

The logging town was called Ila, a simple name for a simple town. It had a palisade as an exterior defense that was only about twelve feet high. It could be scaled quickly if they attackers were determined, but it was effective against the common bands of thieves and groups of bandits that like to try and attack quaint little towns like this. Inside the town were buildings built of wood with a mix of thatched and tiled roofs. A few stone and brick buildings existed inside the place, but they were more important buildings such as the sawmill and the inn.

Itaken and Kimiko were stopped briefly at the gates as the guards inquired as to why they were there. He would answer that they were just passing though and needed a place to stay for the night, a common enough story. The guards looked Itaken up and down, apparently deciding that a man in such horrid condition likely wouldn't be much of an issue. They eyed Kimiko warily but said nothing as the two of them made their way into the town.

He would head for the inn almost immediately as it was on the main thoroughfare of the town about ten blocks in. "Best place to find people who know about bandits are the ones who like to get rowdy," he commented to Kimiko. "We might have to get a bit rowdy ourselves if we need to draw attention for any of our potential 'friends'." This last part was said with a bit of a grin, the same one he had displayed earlier when releasing the transformation jutsu. Once at the inn, a basic two story building with a stone foundation and a brick exterior, Itaken would pull the door open for Kimiko and gesture for her to enter.

Within he would opt to find the closest table he could with Kimiko, waiting on a barmaid to see if they would like anything to drink. None were nearby, and with the hour of the day still being in the afternoon, the inn wasn't exactly crowded. Not yet, anyways. Another couple hours or so when the woodcutting crews returned from their day of labor and it would be bustling. That's when the more shady people would come out to play too, hiding among the crowd. "See anyone that looks a little fishy by any chance?" The barmaid got to their table as Itaken finished asking his question and asked what they would like. Itaken turned to her to speak. "I need... five gallons of ale please, plus whatever my friend here would like." The barmaid blinked at Itaken's order, apparently not believing she had heard it correctly.

"You said five... gallons?"

Itaken nodded. She blinked again, but nodded herself with a doubtful look on her face as she turned her attention to Kimiko. "And for you, dear?"

As Itaken popped up into his normal size once more, Kimiko leapt back, reacting with her usual quick speed. She didn't really act on much more than instinct. Her partner grinned slightly, apologizing, and Kimiko shrugged. "Naw, I get it. Instinct is hard to fight, nor should you really, ya know? The way I see it, instinct keeps us alive." With that, they continued on their way.

Kimiko and Itaken hid their headbands as they approached the town, and Kimiko's face seemed to grow a little more bland as she dropped any hint of emotion. Her seriousness alone dropped the cuteness, as she had a bit of a resting bitch face, something that she embraced as it was nice when she wanted people to leave her alone. To be honest, most Uchiha seemed to have a bit of a tendency to have a super serious looking resting face. Happiness and joy weren't native looks to many of them.

The guards spent a moment looking over Kimiko before they decided to let the two of them in. It wasn't like there was any real reason to keep them out anyhow. They weren't wanted, nor did they commit any crimes or anything like that. Outside of a true village, which, like Konoha, would be a military strong point, this wasn't a military area forbidden for people without proper clearances to enter.

Itaken and Kimiko found themselves quickly in a bar, where the Senju ordered 5 gallons of alcohol. Kimiko's face was unable to hold back her own surprise at such an order, nor was the bar maid. "Uh, just get me something strong but sweet. I don't like the taste of alcohol but I like the feeling, ya know? And I guess just keep them coming. I don't need 5 gallons, but I don't want to run out." Kimiko grinned as her eyes met Itaken's, a bit of a challenge seeming to issue from the girl with that look.

When the bar maid walked away, Kimiko shook her head. "Nobody fishy yet, but we'll certainly grab a lot of attention with the amount we're drinking, eh?"

Kimiko was as startled as the barmaid, her expression changed completely once Itaken said his order. She then ordered what she wanted, asking the barmaid to keep them coming rather than having a bulk order like Itaken. When he glanced at her the Uchiha jonin had a wicked grin on her face and a dangerous twinkle in her eye. Her comment about the amount of alcohol they had just ordered made Itaken grin slightly. He would then lean in closer to Kimiko, the small grin turning sly before he would speak in response to Kimiko.

"This is just my warm up. I actually got banned from the Snake Eyes tavern in Tanzaku Town on my way back to the village," he began before resting his cheek on the palm of his hand, elbow planted on the table. "I bet them that I could drink their entire stock of ale without passing out. They accepted since I'm a shinobi and they actually thought I had the money to pay for that." He paused here as the barmaid came back with one of Itaken's gallons as well as a golden colored beverage in a large glass for Kimiko. It smelled slightly sweet and had a hint of citrus. She left to go get the rest of Itaken's order which would likely take two more trips.

Itaken's drink had come in a small gallon barrel with a tap on the bottom. He lifted it and opened the tap. The draft of ale he took in that first go took a full ten seconds to finish. His throat never stopped swallowing as the ale poured down it without resistance. The best part about immunity to pain and the ability to withstand basically anything was that it was easy to force back ones gag reflex. He also didn't need to breathe to live, so drinking for extended periods was nothing big for him. When the barrel was set down, fully two-thirds of it was gone. Itaken let out a satisfied sigh, patting his stomach as the barmaid brought another two gallons to the table. He raised the barrel he had in greeting, the barmaid smiling and shaking her head as she walked away for the third load.

His eyes drifted back to Kimiko. "Anyways, I managed to get it all down in about three hours and then drank their entire stock of sake on a double or nothing." He lifted the barrel and finished off its contents in a few huge chugs of ale, setting the empty barrel on the ground next to him with a second satisfied sigh. As he scooted the second one to the table in front of him he would finish his story. "They banned me after that and kicked me out. Walked back to the village overnight and... well, I think you've heard the rest." With that he lifted the second barrel to his lips and took another large draft. Only about seven seconds this time, and when he set this barrel on the table he would burp loudly. It was a good one too, like the animated burps you see except this one lasted almost ten seconds. Itaken patted his belly. "I doubt there's many people who could do that and still walk miles through the night, eh? Makes me think I should quit this work and just go around robbing bars like that all the time, you know?" He grinned at this last question, obviously being sarcastic.

There were definitely people looking at them now though as the barmaid returned with Itaken's third round. She glanced down at the first barrel, squatting to lift it up and see if he was really done. Her eyes got a little wide as she realized how light it was, glancing at Itaken who had his hands on the second one. Wordlessly she would turn to return the barrel to wherever it needed to go. A few others nearby had seen Itaken drink that barrel quickly before starting on the second one with three on the side and were looking at him like he was nuts. That was fine with him, he was used to looks like that when he was in a tavern. Drinking had always been easy for him even as a child when he would drink his uncles under the table before he had hit puberty.

"You know, you may not think this is a lot for you, but a normal person will certainly think it is. Just because you can drink an entire tavern's supply of ale doesn't mean it's not strange when you order 5 gallons as a warm up." Kimiko gave Itaken a sly look as he gave his story. She took a sip of her drink, making a face as she thought about whether or not she liked the drink.

After a second of contemplation, she took another sip, watching Itaken chug down the barrel as she continued to think about her own drink. She smiled, deciding it was, after all, delicious and happily sipped away at the drink, in stark contrast to the amount that Itaken was drinking. The difference between them was that Kimiko happened to really like to savor the flavor of her drinks, and the drunk part was a bonus after effect.

"I think eventually, if you quit our line of work, and kept doing that, bars would know not to let you in them to rob in that method quite so easily, eh? Already got yourself banned from one of them. But sure, not many people would be able to walk home. Or walk. Or be alive, I dunno. Or keep it down. There's a lot that I don't think is considered... normal..." Kimiko laughed.

Looking around the bar, she continued her lookout for any unsavory types, but it wasn't actually like she was seeing any of them. Perhaps they didn't just hang out in the bar at all hours of the day. "Maybe we wanna switch up our tactics a little? I dunno how drunk you'll get, but I can get pretty trashed, and that should make the mission a bit more interesting. Couple of drunks are usually good targets." Kimiko offered up.

Kimiko made a few observations that Itaken had heard from everyone else he bragged about his drinking prowess to. If anybody actually considered that normal, it would likely catch him completely off guard. Her next suggestion interested Itaken. Getting drunk to try and draw attention to oneself was generally a good way to draw attention to oneself. Itaken took another quick drink of ale before replying, utilizing that little bit of time to pretend like he was going to answer something other than 'yes'. Once a couple seconds had passed, he would nod his head slightly a couple times.

"Well, I suppose seeing if these guys have enough to get me drunk would be pretty interesting. I might have to start drinking the liquor if I was going to be serious about it," he mused. A quick look around told him that there were already people who were staring at him in particular. A skeleton drinking enough ale to get a normal man hammered in the span of a couple minutes did that.

But in the end, he was curious too. Did Kimiko really think she could stay conscious long enough to see him get drunk? It was something he had yet to see from anybody else he had ever met, but shinobi were weird people. Hell, he was a perfect example of how shinobi were weird. "To hell with it, let's see if we cause a scene the right way," he finally answered with a grin. Itaken held his barrel up to her as a toast, waiting for her to respond in kind before polishing off the second barrel. Once it was done he would set it on the floor next to him and let out a deafening belch the likes of which most people have likely never heard before. It caused a silence to fall across the inn as everybody looked their way, Itaken patting his distended belly. Even as he did so, his natural healing and natural immunity to basically anything bad was already kicking his body into overdrive to process the alcohol. If one looked at him for a few minutes, they would be able to see his belly shrinking back down to its normal size at an alarming rate. No, there was nothing normal about Itaken.

The barmaid made her way back over, picking up the second barrel with two slightly shaky hands. Not only did her eyes pop open, but her jaw dropped when she realized that this barrel was empty too. "Uh, yeah, I'm also going to need one bottle of sake, one bottle of whiskey, and the strongest moonshine you've got. Two of those, please." The barmaid didn't move, stunned as she stared at him. Itaken would repeat the order, smiling in the friendliest manner he could. The woman blinked, looked at the barrel, back to Itaken, back to the barrel, and then turned around to head back to put the barrel away. Maybe she heard the order, maybe she didn't. Itaken would be fine for another twenty minutes or so if he took it a little slower than his usual pace.

Throughout the course of the next few hours, the amount of alcohol the two consumed, namely Itaken, was a rather exorbatent amount. It got to the point that everyone was more or less watching the Senju and the Uchiha as they continued their drinking match, with Itaken blowing the amount of alcohol Kimiko was drinking out of the water. There was no real contest, but by the time that Kimiko and Itaken's prey showed up, the two of them were thoroughly trashed.

In all honesty, the next few hours for Kimiko were more or less a blur, and she didn't really recall anything, but she woke up the next morning in a bed at the Inn they had been at. A note of thanks for them having taken care of the bandit problem led Kimiko to suspect that in their drunken stupor they had actually ended up completeting the mission. Funny thing that, considering she wouldn't have any ideas as to what had happened.

Kimiko exited her room and the barkeep filled her in on the details, letting her know that her companion had left some several hours beforehand. The absolute madlad hadn't even been the slightest bit drunk, by appearances sake. He'd paid the bill for her so Kimiko thanked the man and headed off home to prepare for the comet that was going to happen.

-Exit-