The test of Calin - The Cat Eater

"Callin Kaguya." The name was called and hopefully, the young Kaguya would be paying attention instead of discussing too loud. One could easily miss their name being called if they did not pay attention.

Alas, much like he did to the others, Akihiro motioned Calin to approach the black door. Always with a smile. Perhaps Calin would need this sort of encouragement since the Genin who went in before him got violently expelled through the black door right onto the classroom, across several tables and hitting the wall on the far side. Several bones were broken but the Genin was alive, thank God. After that poor guy was carried away by the medic nins, Calin's turn came. Hopefully, he would answer.

"Please proceed through the door, please." Akihiro would gently ask him with a smile. As soon as the door closed behind Calin Kaguya, the first phase of his exam would start.

He would find himself inside a restaurant. It was a very odd restaurant, however. No larger than the common living room, this restaurant had a single table and a single person cooking behind the tiny kitchen tables. As soon as Calin entered and the door closed behind him, the strange man would lift his eyes from the frying pan and look at the Kaguya.

"Well hello, hello! Welcome to our fancy restaurant- The Mirror. Have a seat, have a seat, please!" he would agitate the frying pan with one hand and motion with the other for Calin to take a seat. The cook seemed pretty friendly, and his smiles were frequent. His voice was also quite friendly and the way he moved clearly implied he had never had any sort of shinobi training before. He was just that, a cook.

"Ah, it's been a while since I cooked here! Our restaurant is pretty small you know, so I only have one dish. But you're lucky! All you have to do is be my client and have lunch! Take a seat and rest while I go get your dish!"
The cook would swiftly move around the small table and chair where Calin would hopefully now be seated, and he would place bread, olives, and ham on the table. Should Calin choose to eat, he would find everything delicious and perfectly innocent- because there was nothing out of the ordinary with the food.

The cook would go back to the kitchen, and return with a concession stand which had one single silver covered tray and a bunch of sauces. He had finally put down the frying pan somewhere. "I'm back, I'm back! I'm terribly sorry for the wait ahahaha, it was hard to catch your dish. Here it is!" He would use his right hand to uncover the tray.

Spoiler:

The kitten seemed perfectly happy to be there. "Would you ever eat this cat? Please, give me an answer and your reason for answering like that~ It took me hours to catch this adorable kitten tee hee hee~" He asked, bluntly. The test had now truly started.

Calin's name was called, the pale teen stood and walked forward, giving a simple nod toward the proctor as he moved toward the door. A more bored expression couldn't really be on his face. However it was in all reality, simply an act. The bottom line was that he was in another village, in another country, where potentially enemy shinobi would be looking at each other for any information they could get. The more he could hide, the better off he'd be. That included his personality of course, so he settled for being aloof, and bored looking. He'd enter the room and notice the table, and the chef cooking something behind the counter. An odd expression would appear on his features. Confusion, for the most part. However, there was of course that touch of curiosity.

The cook would notice and welcome him to the restaurant. 'The Mirror.' He would tuck the name away mentally, it might be important to the test. He'd step in and have a seat, wary of any traps, checking the seat with a quick glance to ensure it was safe. Something had messed that girl up somewhere, and he wanted to ensure he didn't fall victim to the same fate. "Hello, my name is Calin Kaguya. I suppose I'll wait." He'd say as the chef moved to bring out bread, ham, olives, he would hold off on eating anything however. None of this could be the main course, and he'd feel rude to begin eating anything until the chef returned. Besides, he didn't even have a drink, rude ass chef.

Soon though the man returned with a simple silver tray that was covered. It was surrounded with a bunch of sauces and he'd uncover the tray with an apology to reveal a small kitten. Which would meow at him pleasantly. The chef would proceed to ask him if he'd ever eat the cat. Then proceed to state the reason for answering like that. Before adding on that it took him hours to catch him. Now, Calin's first thought was to respond with 'No thanks, I'm not really in the mood for something that's still breathing.' However, he scratched that. Along with half a dozen other clever remarks leveling from 'I'm allergic.' to 'No thanks, I'm not interested in eating puss...' Well that one was a lie in a certain way. Although that's irrelevant.

Instead Calin would look at the chef with a raised eyebrow. "Possibly. However there are certain mitigating factors. Like for example the fact that it isn't cooked, and it's still breathing. However many others exist. To be hones though, the fact of the matter is there are simply almost always better things to eat. We're shinobi, we can't be picky about food when we have no other options. However we're all trained in basic survival, so hunting, fishing, and foraging is something we can all do with varying degrees of success. However it would be success all the same. Eating a cat? Why bother? Hunt some fowl, or pork, or forage fruits, or edible plants. There's simply no real scenario where you would ONLY have the kitten as an option to eat. Even in the middle of the desert, if one looked hard enough, you'd find something. Although why a kitten would be in a desert would be beyond me. Either way though, I hope that answers your question to satisfaction, Chef-san." He would say with a rather bored look. The bastard didn't even give him his damn name. Seriously, no drink, no name, trying to make him eat a friggin cat. What rude ass service. He was going to give this place such a bad review.

"Oh boy, you should *not* have said that." The cook immediately commented as his glance turned towards the kitten. The kitty was crying. It was crying because of what Calin said.

"P-possibly?" the kitty would say, revealing its ability to speak the human tongue. "I-is that... a maybe?" The cook immediately grabbed the silver piece he had used to previously cover the kitty. "N-No! He didn't mean that, it's not a maybe! It's a- " "NO. FUCKING. MAYBES. I WILL MURDER YOU. I WILL RIP YOU APPART AND FEAST UPON YOUR INT-"*plock*. The cook covered the kitty with the silver piece again, and everything immediately went quiet. The previous terrifying voice coming from a seemingly adorable kitty was now gone. A moment of silence followed as the cook kept his hand on top of the tray.

"I'm sorry. He's a little sensitive you know. I will be taking your answer as a "No". Since you clearly stated there was no realistic scenario where you would ONLY have a kitten to eat." The cook then smirked, as if Calin had walked into some sort of trap. With a wave of hand, the bread and olives turned to dust and vanished in a slight breeze. "And yet, here you are. At my restaurant. Where the only thing you have to eat is a cat. It's not that you will starve if you don't...but you won't pass your exam either. Look around you Calin. There is nothing else here. Only me. And you can't eat me, else you fail."

The chef would make a pause and let him reflect on that. It was easy for a young mind to assume they had everything under control. That under no realistic scenario their convictions would be shattered. This test served the purpose of awakening Calin to the dangers of such assumptions.

"But alas, we shall leave your decision for a little bit later, while this little guy cools off a bit. " The chef placed the tray on the table and turned to Calin again.
"While you're here, why don't I tell you a story. Do you want to know the story of our little restaurant and how we got to serve cats? Well, it doesn't matter, I'll tell you anyway. This restaurant was founded by little Anne. An adorable child, really. But a troubled one, too! One day, Anne was playing on a swing in a local playground when an adult came along and pushed her off into the dirt for no other reason than that he'd had a bad day at work and wanted to take it out on somebody who couldn't fight back. And the-OH. Oh wait. Before I go on, I need to know. Do you think the adult's actions were morally wrong? Was he wrong in doing what he did to our lil'Anne?"

His response would be met with one he had not been expecting. Not from the chef, however it was from the cat itself. The little creature had started sounding so sad that his response has been ‘Possible, but not probable’ effectively and he started screaming and telling Calin that it would murder him and begin feasting on. What Calin thought was to be his intestines or something. He wasn’t sure, as the chef covered the plate with the metal lid. ‘Cute cat.’ He would think before contemplating things a bit more. ‘The metal can’t be that thick though..The little bugger was screaming. That only enforces the idea that this is a genjutsu of course. Hell, there was probably judges watching him now via some kind of jutsu that he simply wasn’t aware of. Or, they had simply begun watching and listening to the question responses. After all it wasn’t like this list wasn’t scripted or anything.

The chef would begin to explain that him not saying yes to eating the cat would be a problem given that he would have to do so in order to pass. ‘Except you just told me that I shouldn’t have even said ‘maybe’ so you’re already contradicting yourself..’ He’d think as he continued to deal with the situation in his way mentally. Years of political training had kept his mind and ears sharp for the plays on words and contradictions used against him. After a few moments the chef would say that they could revisit the cat later, setting the tray down before asking him if he wanted to hear the story about how his establishment served cats as their menu. He didn’t really have a choice however as the chef simply moved into a story about a little girl named Anne, the founder of the restaurant.

He would continue with the story, explaining that one day a grown man had pushed her off of her swing into the dirt merely because he had a bad day. Then the chef asked if the man’s actions were morally wrong. Calin raised an eyebrow at this “Assaulting a child as morally wrong? To be honest? I do in fact disdain such things. But the world is what it is, and within our shinobi system one is expected to send or see children go toward their own death at times. Sometimes, even under orders. Take our proctor for example, Akihiro. He couldn’t have been older than 15, no more than a child in the worlds eyes, yet already a jonin. A veteran shinobi who had to make difficult choices that in an ideal world, no child would ever be expected to make. So I suppose, the answer is yes. I do in fact find the idea morally reprehensible. However in practice, it’s necessary at times to keep our world running.” He would say, his sapphirical eyes not leaving those of the chef’s.

"Ah yes...War is a terrible thing. Have you ever seen the last months of a shinobi clan? I have. Some people think its awful. After their adult men and women die on the battlefield, if they cannot find a way to reach a peace agreement, it's the children's turn. Not that they're not capable...ninja children can be just as deadly as ninja adults. Personally, I see nothing wrong with that- If they're capable, they're capable. And that's all there is to it." The cook shrugged. He seemed impervious to the thought of children dying on the battlefield.

"The shinobi world is vicious and cruel. Why would it be merciful to a child? Calin, if you're going to be a Chuunin you need to be prepared to make difficult choices. Sometimes there are no other options. There's a chance you might have to kill children. Or eat a kitty. They're not too different choices... what we're trying to understand here is why they are difficult choices. Or if they're difficult at all. " There was a moment of silence during which the cook hoped Calin would reflect on his words.

"I was telling you the story of our restaurant, but we'll be taking a small detour based on what you said about these children. I have questions for you, Calin.

I have a restaurant, and I feed kittens to people. Some people think this is wrong, just like you think sending children to the battlefield is wrong. Tell me, is it possible for an action to be morally wrong solely because people find the idea of it a bit disgusting? For example, if lots of people found the idea of eating porridge disgusting, could it be morally wrong to eat porridge just for this reason and no other reason? Yes or No?

Can an action be morally wrong if the only person (or people) harmed by it is the person (or people) undertaking the action? For example, could it be morally wrong to smoke if it is true that nobody except the smoker is harmed? Yes or No?

And where does morality come from? Does morality come from God or from some other source independent of nature, the social world and human judgement? If you believe morality comes from either of these, answer me with a yes. If you think neither is true, say no.

Answer me these questions, one by one, and I shall reveal you a bit more about Anne and give you very relevant information for passing these exams."

The cook clarified Calin’s thoughts quite nicely, before he began to elaborate that if one was to be a chunin then they would have to make difficult choices. Ones that would probably haunt them. This didn’t truly perturb the teen much, he’d known that would be a thing for a years. It was a factor of his schooling too. However the question of why they’re difficult choices was an important, as well as whether or not they truly were difficult.  It was a shinobi who didn’t find difficulty in hard choices that either had experience, or mental issues. For a genin trying to become a chunin. It was more than likely the latter, even if they had somehow gotten the experience. With undeveloped minds, it would at best be both. THis test needed to weed out those who couldn’t handle the stress of a difficult choice, or those that didn’t have any at all at this stage in their development.

Thump thump

Calin’s heart suddenly beat out of time. A small pain erupted in his chest and he put a hand on his heart. A genjutsu? No blood was drawn, but he couldn’t feel any foreign chakra in him. The cook would continue on, explaining that they would take a little detour in their story.

Thump thump

Again, his heart beat out of time. The pain was redoubled, but not enough to make him cry out or show it yet. The cook asked his question, Calin barely heard it. Something about, was it morally wrong to eat porridge because some people didn’t like it, found it disgusting even. The pain was getting stronger as Calin spoke. “No.” He would say, usually he would explain his answer. To give clarity of where his mind was when he answered to give the proctor some idea of his mental state. The pain however, was getting to be too damn much.

Thump thump

Next question, again Calin barely heard it with the beating of his own heart in his ears. Morally wrong for a smoker to smoke if it’s true that nobody but them is harmed. “No.” He would say again, barely managing to snap the one word response out before the pain redoubled again.

Calin never had time to finish the next question.

The proctor would ask, Calin wouldn’t hear. His eyes would be open, his heart beating faster and the pain immense now. He clutched his chest as he realized this truly couldn’t be a part of the test. What part does this play in a test of morality? It didn’t make sense. He needed to get to his room and rest. Normal medicine didn’t work on his clan, so his best chance was to try to sleep it off. He needed to resign from the exams. “I have to resi-” He would begin before suddenly coughing up blood, the red liquid pooling down his front, a look of pain in his eyes before he reigned it in. He wouldn’t scream, he held it in. He looked up toward the proctor, mouth partially parted, bloody teeth visible behind bloodstained lips. It was all he could do, suddenly he lost consciousness, blacking out and falling out of the chair, slamming into the ground hard.

[Exit?]

(OOC: I do in fact intend to leave the site after I do one more thread which will be a flashback thread. I figure he wouldn’t die in character quite yet but could be considered to have the plague. Figured starting it off in character like this would add a nice spin to things. Lemme know if this is a problem. Obviously, I’m resigning from the exams. Sorry Yui, I wanted to fight you but my time is too stretched between my staff duties on my other site, work, and trying to make a character for my friends other site. I just can’t juggle it.)