by Mitsukira Mon Mar 08, 2021 4:12 pm
Mitsukira had been getting up to leave, she was so ashamed of her part in the events she was describing that she couldn’t bear the thought of Shin looking at her with disappointment. And she would have left, were it not for a firm yet gentle grasp of her wrist. As soon as Shin’s hand made contact she would pause and twist her body in his lap to look at him having momentarily been facing away in order to stand. She did not attempt to remove his hand, merely sat there and listened as he questioned her, rather bluntly, about the things she had just described. Or rather didn’t describe well enough.
She knew she was being vague, and she wasn’t trying to lie to him, but she was so emotionally distraught that her retelling of events was bouncing from emotion to emotion rather than following a linear and logical timeline. Instead of pulling away from Shin’s grip, Mitsu would tentatively place her other hand on Shin’s wrist and play with the fabric of his shirt. Unless directed otherwise she would keep her gaze focused on the black sleeve, smoothing out the wrinkles and then re-adding them, too ashamed to meet his gaze. She was trying to see things from his point of view, but part of her believed that he was just trying to absolve his friend of guilt rather than assessing her actions properly. It was kind and well meaning, but she still felt guilty. She knew what she’d done.
Still focused on his shirt she would do her best to answer his questions. “I. . . no. The Kaifeng’s are- were a notorious crime family in Iwagakure. And the message I was sent with from Masaru was most definitely a threat. ‘Join us or die’, basically. I didn’t want to say that, so I tried an alternative first. . . but it didn’t work. I don’t know what he wanted, Argent I mean. Maybe money or land or something like that. I offered him a clean slate, him and his whole family. I would erase their past crimes and make them free citizens in exchange for their assistance in the war. But that wasn’t good enough. I was so scared that if I failed to convince him. . . I gave him Masaru’s message. And it did not go over well. The thing is though, I knew before I said it that it was wrong. To threaten someone if they-” Her voice cut off momentarily as for a brief instant she started to consider if she had been wrong at all, either with Argent or Chen. ‘No. You have your morals and ethics and you strayed from them. That is wrong.’
Shaking her head as she stared at a stray thread she would continue. “Unsurprisingly, he said no. Angrily. He also told me. . . If he comes back here, Masaru and he will fight. And Shin, I don’t think either of them will walk away. . . not that Masaru can even. . .” She didn’t finish her thought, Argent and Masaru had both promised bloody vengeance on the other, with her trapped in the middle. Only now, the fight would be very one sided, with Masaru in a coma.
When Shin mentioned Chen again Mitsu would flinch subtly, her fingers tightening briefly against his sleeve and her breath quieting as she held it to ease the pain from her injury. Which didn’t help at all, but somehow made her feel as though she had some measure of control over the pain. “Chen doesn’t. . . like me. I know that sounds silly, but it’s been evident in all of our interactions. I couldn’t tell you exactly why, but it seems no matter what I try I’m met with hatred and disapproval from him. I wish it wasn’t like that, Masaru believed in him, even named him his protege. . . I’m just not. . . personable I suppose. Not with him anyway. So when I attempted to assume leadership he stepped in, he said. . .” She remembered exactly what he said, but she didn’t want to misconstrue what had happened. Tensions were high, they were in the middle of a war and the Tsuchikage had just fallen to the plague. “It doesn’t matter what he said. Suffice to say his reasons, while explained harshly, were justified. Every attempt I’ve made to lead this country, to save it from war or death has been an abject failure. He had no reason to believe that me taking on the role of Tsuchikage would be any different. And I can understand that. But then. . .” She would shudder and squeeze her eyes shut as the scene replayed itself in her mind. Purple eyes and a black rod, a hate filled smirk and. . .
"I'll turn you into a mindless vassal. No more singing. No more dancing. Just total obedience."
Silent tears ran down her face as her breathing quickened again. She wasn’t sad, this was not a resurgence of sorrow - this was terror. Her voice was shaky as she recounted the entire event in detail, following up with yet another apology. “Please don’t be angry with me, or him. It was a difficult time and. . . it shouldn’t have happened but it did. And, I’m just trying to learn from it.” What she meant, although she wasn’t aware, was repress it. She had had nightmares ever since that day, of purple eyes and blood. She had kept to herself as much as she was able, fearing being outdoors or around too many people. Every time someone’s voice was raised, or they moved too quickly she would flinch. The months since that day in the Tsuchikage Complex had worn on her psyche to the point that she was exhausted, but couldn’t place why.
She would give Shin time to either reply to her story or choose not to before moving on to his other questions. Her shoulders sagged, one bruised and one not, as she attempted to lean her forehead against Shin’s chest while she spoke. She had curled up as close to him as he would let her, feeling an instinctual need to be hidden while she poured her aching heart out. “These are dangerous times, Shin. I never thought I would see a war in my lifetime, let alone be part of one. Yui claimed the position of Tsuchikage, which honestly makes sense since she is a very strong shinobi, but she didn’t come alone. . . she has something wrong with her, or maybe inside of her. I’m unsure. All I know is that it was frightening and we needed to solve it. Her husband, Rin Uchiha, was being held in Konoha and Chen and I thought he might be able to help. So I went to retrieve him, which is where I met Nyguyen Uchiha the Hokage. He was a nice man. . . sort of. He had Rin leave the room and. . . I upset him. I know I did, I just keep failing every diplomatic mission I attempt. I should have been more careful, we are indebted to Konoha after all. Insulting him was not the correct choice to take. Regardless, Rin and his mother were released to my custody and I’ve only just arrived back in Iwa from that trip. I came straight here because you said if I needed anything. . . and I do need something. I-I’ve never told anyone all of this before Shin. . . I didn’t- I hoped. . .” Her words failed her as her voice trailed off into miserable silence. Had he allowed her to rest her head on his chest she would remove her hand from his shirt sleeve and nestled herself closer to him with her now free hand looping under his arm to grasp at his shoulder.