Mitsu’s plea for mercy fell on deaf ears and Chen returned nothing but a cold look. She would have preferred even a triumphant grin in that moment, anything to indicate that he was considering her. The sad truth was that she didn’t hate him, she couldn’t. She didn’t think she hated anyone. Her fear of Chen was a twisted sort of love, she wanted so badly to believe in him that she endured any pain he inflicted just to keep her misguided hope alive. She still believed that somewhere, deeply buried, there was still good in him. So she endured, she hoped and she suffered for it. Even now as he handled her roughly and spoke cruel words she still believed in him. She believed because she was an eternal optimist, but more than that because Masaru had believed in him.
When he told her it was her fault, that he would not be merciful because of her own actions, she couldn’t even argue. She had defied him, and her only justification had been her feelings for Shin, not that she would ever explain that to Chen. As he squeezed her hand tightly she whimpered again, this time not to soothe his ego however, this time because it actually hurt. It wouldn’t cause lasting damage, but her skin and nerves were delicate due to her albinism and what some might be able to shrug off caused her physical pain. Any visible damage would be hidden by her long silk gloves, so no one watching would be the wiser. She held back her tears, opting not to speak for fear of giving away her vulnerable state further. The last thing she wanted was to give her tormentor more ammunition against her.
He continued to goad her, to remind her of how alone she was. He even gave her good reasons for it. Reasons that even someone as optimistic as she could not refute. The only thing he said that day that didn’t cause her distress was him announcing that Shin would be Tsuchikage. That bit of news actually made her happy. She didn’t much like the way he said it, but she was pleased with the conclusion that Chen had drawn. Shin was the only logical choice for the position, and he had done marvellously at the Kage Summit. So when he asked his rhetorical question, Mitsu shook her head ‘no’. She wouldn’t stand in the way of having a proper leader again, and she certainly wouldn’t subject him to being under her authority in a squad setting.
It did sting though, she had tried to stand up to Chen on this very matter before and now she was being punished for her obvious stupidity. The sting came from the truth. She was continuously told that she was inadequate and idiotic, and it appeared now to be true. The news about Shin’s removal from her squad was understandable and didn’t cause concern. The retelling of Tadara’s betrayal however hurt a good deal more. She didn’t understand how he could say such things, especially considering how she had literally taken a crossbow bolt for him, a cross shaped scar still sat raised on her shoulder blade as a testament to that nearly tragic day. If she’d been too slow he would have. . .
It didn’t matter. It never mattered to Mitsu what she had done, only what the consequences were. She had tried and clearly failed to be a good leader. She couldn’t blame Tadara for choosing to abandon her squad and train under Chen. Chen was a fierce warrior in his own right, and the student had the right to learn from whomever they wished. He hadn’t bothered to inform her, which was odd considering what she knew of his intelligence and attention to bookkeeping. But even that her fear-addled mind explained away; ‘I’m sure he just was worried that I might take it personally. Yeah, that seems reasonable.’ It wasn’t reasonable, but she chose to find the least offensive answer anyway.
She could let go of the idea of her squad. She could let go of her dream of being Tsuchikage. She could even let go of the idea of having friends in Iwagakure. But when Chen mentioned going to Sunagakure she felt a cold thud in the pit of her stomach, his words produced a visceral enough emotional reaction that he might as well have just punched her in the gut. Were it not for his tight grip she would have pulled away, but she hadn’t been prepared for the dramatic sweeping dip during their ‘dance’. It probably looked romantic to anyone watching who didn’t know them. It probably looked like this dapper man was sharing an intimate moment with his blushing partner, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Some taboo words likely meant to arouse or empassion, the sort of actions one would expect in new lovers. And even her reaction to those words could have led one to believe the fantasy. A gasp as her pinkish red eyes went wide, her grip subtly tightening on his well tailored coat covered shoulder, the unconscious near brush of cheeks as she turned to look him in the eyes when their faces were too close.
But no. It was not romantic and nothing even close to the picturesque fairytale scene that two well dressed dancers were presenting. Where she had been hurt and scared before, now she was horrified. Chen had just threatened her family. No doubt he could feel her rapid breathing and pounding heart, she could barely believe what had just happened. This was further in her opinion than he had ever gone before, and this thought came from the woman he had attempted to murder. She wanted to scream at him, she felt bile rise into her throat as she fought to suppress her anger. Anger that only ever came out when those she loved were threatened. ‘Don’t you dare go near them.’ She might have said it out loud, if he had not landed a crushing blow with his next words.
He never loved you.
If his threats towards her family felt like a punch to the gut, this felt like Chen had literally torn her heart out of her chest and squeezed.
The light in Mitsukira’s eyes dulled and was replaced by a faraway look as her mind echoed the phrase over and over again. It had been so long since she’d seen Masaru’s smile or heard his voice. He was ill and it wasn’t his fault, but he wasn’t there to validate her beliefs anymore. He hadn’t been there for years. She’d been alone and forgotten. And she couldn’t find the will to convince herself that Chen was wrong. Chen had known Masaru far longer than she had; Masaru had named Chen his protege and had travelled with him, trained with him, trusted him. Chen had been promoted and Masaru had all but named him his successor. And she. . . she was nothing now. A Diarch of convenience and in name only. Forced to do menial tasks to keep the country going but without the authority to affect real change. ‘Did he ever love me? Was I ever more than a diversion?’ She couldn’t be certain now, not now that it had been said aloud.
And then he dropped her.
She barely registered it. Her heart was utterly broken as doubt took over entirely. She didn’t notice the dirty looks that onlookers gave, she just lay there on the ground at Chen’s feet, staring up at him. There had been many times in the past where she had felt as though Chen had ‘won’ whatever competition they had. She had been wrong. As she looked up at his evil smile she knew that this was the moment. Here on a beautiful outdoor dance floor surrounded by cherry blossoms and young love. . . this was where he had won.
She didn’t speak or move, choosing to wait until he had walked away to pick herself up from the ground. Her submission before he left would have been clear, there was no challenge in her eyes as she stared, just complete acceptance of her place beneath him.
As she rose from the floor she would wave off the helpful hands and concerned looks with a gloved hand. “Everything is fine, thank you.” Her words were hollow but she didn’t care to look if they had been believed. She would move through the crowd back towards Shin, her eyes still dull and lifeless as she went to do her duty. Assuming he was still standing where she had left him she would try to force a smile onto her face as she delivered Chen’s message. “You’ve been named the Tsuchikage. You made Iwagakure proud at the Kage Summit, and we can’t think of a better choice to lead the Children of Earth into the future. This will of course mean that you will no longer be on my squad.” She put as much emotion as she could into her words, which wasn’t much and the word ‘we’ had been misleading. She had been genuinely happy to have Shin take up the mantle of Kage, and she knew she would be again but with her heart, hope and memories shattered she had lost her spark. She would wait for Shin to reply in acceptance, and would insist if he did not. She couldn’t allow Chen to be disobeyed. And she knew that if Shin refused it would be blamed on her. As soon as he accepted she would bow formally, murmuring quietly as she did so. “Long may you lead, Godaime Tsuchikage Shin Muramatsu.” She would then rise and stand straight, a smile on her pale face and a dead look in her eyes. “If you would like to continue exploring the Festival we can. Though I would understand if you wish to return and attend to Village matters.” Mitsukira would go along with whatever Shin wished, whether it be to stay and attend the Festival, return home or even give him time alone. Any questions Shin asked, assuming he had any, would be answered as best she could - always favouring Chen and his orders. Any questions that were personal she would just wave off, preferring a quick ‘I’m tired’ in place of any real explanation. She didn’t have it in her to fight presently.
Regardless of his answer she would eventually head to her favourite spot in the mountains where she would sit and watch the sun rise. No joy filled her heart at the sun's rays, no awe at the palette of colours. She would just sit in silence as the truths that Chen had spoken seeped into her bones.
[Exit Thread]