Familial

Chigetsu: Posts : 602
Join date : 2019-11-30

Post n°51

Re: Familial

by Chigetsu Tue Mar 03, 2020 11:52 am

Resting his face down against the counter top like this a small puddle would form. His hair would be almost slick as Kaisaki touched him, with Chigetsu’s body reducing down into an almosts gelatine-esque structure. It would bounce back, firming up as soon as he felt the touch of the man against his head. The puddle on the counter would be soaked back up, and Chigetsu would rise up, dry from his previous position. He just wanted to lay down and melt into a puddle right now, but doing it here would just make a mess in more ways than one.

“What do you mean that things will be different?” He was almost mad, and the reaction he had was obviously present in his voice even though he remained at his normal volume. It was too frustrating. “Things don’t change that fast, like a snap of the fingers just because someone else wants you to. That’s not...” The momentary irritation would be burnt out quickly, and Chigetsu would be reduced to sputters, his words turning just into a sigh. He couldn’t maintain the anger, even the watered down version of it that he had which could hardly be compared to the real thing. It just made him tired.

“You knew she never played without my dad, so why did you just tell me to bring that guitar over to her?” His attention turned to the man behind the mask again, instead of being focused inwards on his own emotions. Suspicion. “What were you trying to do? Why have you been telling me all this?"

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Post n°52

Re: Familial

by Bones! Tue Mar 03, 2020 1:29 pm

Nothing was so ever simply explained. Words filled mazes and paths until they were overflowing. Sometimes it went no where, other times, it found the other end. But no matter what path you took, there were some doors not meant to be pushed and pulled. Somethings were better left alone.

Years, a lifetime ago, they were different people. They were abandoned and cast aside. They were pawns to their families and once they served their purpose, they were forgotten, left to do as they were told until it was over. Sometimes lasting eons. Feuds that lasted long after the bodies were buried. To go home was to fail. But to simply exist and not live, that was to become a failure.

"Because I have not seen her smile in years." he would say, "Haven't you felt alone before?" Kaisake spoke, without anger, without judgement. He simply spoke. "I would do anything for your mother. She's my family. You haven't seen the things she's done for me." He pointed at his own chest, tapping with a finger. The faint sounds of wood as he did so, as if there was something that wasn't supposed to be there.

"You can never force anyone to do anything they don't want to. Not Seirei, not you, not your f-father." He pointed at Chigetsu, only to place his hands on the counter, lowing his head down as he stared at the counter. He lowered himself, folding his hands to rest his chin upon them.

"You really want to know?" He asked, his head tilting to the side. "You'll never understand, even if you knew. You could never understand what it's like to have everything taken from you, and to have people constantly remind you of what you used to be. What you used to have." He set his hands on the counter.

"Do you really think I haven't tried to get her to play a song? She won't listen to me. But if it's her son, then maybe there's a chance she can be the person she used to be. Someone less broken." he leaned away from the counter, reaching to the glasses to pour a glass of water, only to open the tap to fill the cup.

"Do you want to know why I wear a mask?" he asked.

Kaisaki

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Post n°53

Re: Familial

by Chigetsu Wed Mar 04, 2020 4:06 pm

His suspicions were confirmed. Chigetsu couldn’t see or read Kaisaki’s face, and that played a part in the general suspicions that he was beginning to feel for the man, but rather than reading an expression to confirm what Chigetsu already believed it just seemed that Kaisaki would straight say it. Because he hadn’t seen her smile in years. Because he would do anything for her. Because she’s family. It was forthright in a way that Chigetsu hadn’t expected. It struck out solid and steady rather than the shaky, unsure manner that the masked man had spoken earlier. Determined. Confident. Sure of himself. Self righteous.

The tapping of his chest wasn’t ignored, nor was the hollow sound that came out of it. There were a lot of things Chigetsu didn’t know about his mother, and even more things he didn’t care to know. It seemed that there was more than he would have previously been able to conceive, though. Maybe it was some advanced medicine, but in the moment it just felt like a crime against humanity. He was already in that mood though. Bitterness strong underneath his emotions, roiling like a sea during a storm. Maybe in a more agreeable mood he might have felt differently. Here he was, this man, telling him that he could never understand. That he couldn’t understand pain, or loss, or to know what it’s like to have everything taken away.

His eyes would narrow as the man continued to speak, until they were nothing but glaring slits. There was a tension in his body, in his shoulders. His throat was tight, enough so that he could feel it down in his collar bone. Uncomfortable dryness, which was never a good feeling for him.

“No, I don’t.” It took a few moments to say it. “I don’t care about you, or what’s under your mask. I don't even really know who you are. You’re talking about things that probably happened before I was even alive, that I don’t have anything to do with. I don’t want to be a pawn in your game to atone for something that happened twenty years ago. I’m not a puppet. That’s...” He nearly spat out the words, but he ran out of fuel again. He had to take a deep breath.

“I have my own problems to deal with. That’s always been the problem… She’s always treated me like a doll that was supposed to do and be what she wanted me to.” He would give out a frustrated huff, clenching his teeth for a moment. It was too audacious for him to have anything other than disgust in his mouth.

He got up from the bar stool, leaving. Just saying all that, just a bit of it reaching up to the surface to be said in a hushed tone, was more than enough to exhaust him. He wanted to go home now. Chigetsu stormed out, leaving the room through the same way he came in.

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Post n°54

Re: Familial

by Bones! Wed Mar 04, 2020 8:36 pm

Akeruseirei Hozuki

Kirigakure's Exporter

The haze the filled the stair way down to her secret project was comforting in the blur that surrounded her. Everything appeared like a vague half remembered dream. Her vision fogged and her face wet with tears as she rested her chin upon her crossed arms. She closed her eyes again, another river flowing down her face from her now reddened eyes. She stared at the blank wall and the dim light that lit the path. Her breathing was steady now. She lifted her left hand to wipe her nose, only to see the smeared blood on the side of her hand.

"Right. Of course..." She thought to herself, wiping again with her right, cleaning the mess she made, the now faint stain on her face, and her left covered in red. She wiped her eyes as she stared at the blank wall. The blank wall...

"Again!" Her father commanded, swinging the stick. Another blow cracked against her back. She winced at it, but not a single sound escaped her lips.

Akeruserei lifted her fists again, her legs shaking, her eyes wet with tears. She couldn't see, but she couldn't stop. A quick forcefull push shoved her forward. She could turn around to see her father's foot, again pushing her back into the fray.

"There will be no failure!"" Again he swung at her as she lay on the ground. The impact again landing on her back. She closed her eyes, taking a breath. She got up again and faced her opponent. Her back bled, her eyes wept. But she would fight.

She would fight, because that was what made them happy.

She played with the cigar between her fingers, lifting it to her lips, taking a bite and spitting out the end, ready to be lit. But she had no light. She spun it in her fingers, playing with it, trying to take her mind off things. Her head rested against the wall, only to hear the sound of the door to her cheap copy of the Swing Set open. A figure exited, and she smiled at the shadow that approached.

"I'm trying. I'm tryin-" She looked up, the figure taking shape and changing to something else. She could see who it was from behind the haze and blurred vision. It was her own son, it was not him. Why would it be.

She lifted her left hand, covering her face. "Please don't look at me." She would say to her son. Not a command, but a request. ". . . I don't want you to see me like this..."

Strength: C || Constitution: D || Stamina: C || Speed: B ||
Coordination: C || Intelligence: D || Perception: B
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Post n°55

Re: Familial

by Chigetsu Thu Mar 05, 2020 8:38 pm

He froze in place, blood running cold enough to send shivers of frost down his skin. This wasn’t what he had expected to find here. His mother, in his mind, had likely already gone home. When she exited after the guitar playing it wasn’t something he questioned. Just a moment where she left on her own and forgot about him. The fact that this place was special to her, haunted with memories, wasn’t something he internalized. It still all meant nothing to him. Just more confusing signs, put in front of him by his mother that he didn’t make any attempt to understand. Continued from the violence from earlier, that she had forced upon him, he hadn’t changed his perception in the slightest. Still trapped, suffocating against the grip around his neck. Having things change so suddenly made him crumble.

The idea of her doing something like this, in the darkness of the steps, wasn’t something he could process. That she had emotions, or at least these kinds of emotions, didn’t mesh well with his mind. It was a shock against the boiling waves of bitterness that had been rolling around inside him just moments ago. It would all dissipate, shattering and being replaced with dust.

The frozen blood in his veins would be woken up by a heart attack, and for a moment he would stumble. His mind wanted to move, to run from what he was seeing here, but his body didn’t cooperate. Catching himself before falling, Chigetsu would turn his head away. Even if it wasn’t a command, his body reacted as if it were. Down at the ground, to the side, she wasn’t in his field of vision at all. Shame burned at him for a reason that couldn’t be explained in the moment. He took a step back, and then again. He was unable to face this. Turning, Chigetsu retreated.

It only took a second for him to slip back into the club, and as he did all of his breath would come out at once. Breathing was difficult for a moment, but it would retreat back into shallow little mouthfuls of air. His skin itched. It felt like he was sweating, even if he wasn’t.

He was trapped now. Unable to leave and unable to stay.

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Post n°56

Re: Familial

by Bones! Thu Mar 05, 2020 9:36 pm

Akeruseirei Hozuki

Kirigakure's Exporter

All it takes is a single moment to turn a happy memory into a haunting one. To build an entire replica of a place that used to be, and to fill it with memories of a time long ago was to gamble. A gamble, where the wager was one's sanity, especially when it was no longer your own property, but everyone's. She couldn't just get rid of it. It was part of her life, a reply of a time where things were different. A time where she was full of laughter. A time where she was constantly having to pick between the life she needed, and the life she wanted. A time, where she, in the middle of it all, was happy she could still make that choice. But now, now it was filled with regret and pain.

"He has your smile." he leaned over her, laughing. The sounds of something silent. The peace that followed a storm. Her hair messy and unkempt as she lay there, her husband beside her.

"He has your eyes." she would say, staring into the small face in her arms. So much suffering and pain, something not referring to moments before his birth, but the life lived until this very moments. "Do you think..." She looked away for a moment to address him, still glancing at the new life she held in her arms. "Do you think I'll be a good mother?"

He smiled, his way of answering the most complicated of questions. He wasn't one for long speeches or well thought out words. "As long as you try, I think he'll be ok."

She turned over to him, a smile faded as she was filled with worry and concern. She bit her lip as she looked into the eyes of the child. "I just have to try..."

She hated the ways words sounded. She hated how you could say something and it could have a thousand meanings based on how you said it. Simple words become complicated. But actions, actions always were. They were exactly as they appeared. They weren't hidden, they weren't secret. You could tell someone's feelings based on what they did. You could see the pain behind smiles, and the anger behind a punch.

She dropped the cigar as she got up from her seat upon the steps. She wiped her face on her sleeve, doing her best to dry her skin. She ran her fingers through her hair, pulling some to the sides of her face, hiding what she had done. She walked to the door, and with a long breath, she inhaled, opening the door and reaching for her hat. Immediately she put it on her face, pulling the brim down in front to hide her eyes.

She looked over at Chigetsu, where he stood and reached out, almost to put a hand on his shoulder. But it never landed. She held it for a moment before drawing away, and sliding it into her pocket. She would walk to the bar, and without a word to Kaisaki, would take her jacket and throw it over her shoulder, fingers holding it behind her back.

"Let's go." she would say to the young Hozuki. "There's nothing more to see here." And she would walk out, not talking to anyone else but him.

She was going to try her best.

And the best she would try.

Strength: C || Constitution: D || Stamina: C || Speed: B ||
Coordination: C || Intelligence: D || Perception: B
105/110 Chakra

[/quote]

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Post n°57

Re: Familial

by Chigetsu Fri Mar 06, 2020 2:25 pm

He stoHe stood without place, not knowing where to stand or be. There wasn’t anywhere he belonged, and suffocating here while trapped left him unable to know what to do. All that he did was idle, listening to the sound of his heart beating. There was nothing but static in his mind right now. The emotional whiplash smacked him across the face, and he would wilt. The built up bitterness would explode into his chest like heartburn, contracting all at once back down to where it had been hidden.

It was impossible to not notice her come in. It was the only thing he noticed in this state of heightened awareness. He tensed himself reflexively, as if preparing to be beaten. It never came, and even if it did he wouldn’t have felt it. With her hand resting down, almost coming to touch him, he would freeze. Even if he was mad or bitter about things these weren’t emotions he could express in the best of times to his mother. The strength of his fear overrode it all, even if occasionally bits would bubble to the surface.

“O-Okay. Okay.” He would say without any breath, following behind her again the moment she spoke to him and left. Unable to think, it would be the same for them leaving as it had been entering, with Chigetsu following behind like an obedient dog. Unable to process what had happened, he would be left unresponsive as it digested inside his gut. The sight of her crying like this, and everything that Kaisaki had said to him melded together into a disgusting fluid that soured inside him, and that was all that he could taste on the way out.

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Post n°58

Re: Familial

by Bones! Fri Mar 06, 2020 4:26 pm

Akeruseirei Hozuki

Kirigakure's Exporter

She hated it. She hated the feelings of helplessness. The feelings of not being able to do anything. The feeling of knowing she could have, but didn't. The feelings of knowing she could have changed the present when it was past. But that was what it was. The past passed. There was no way to go back. To dwell on it would change nothing.

She slowly made her way out of the warehouse. Taking the same path in reverse as she made he way to the door. She was in no rush to return home. She was in no rush to stay. She just existed now. This was life. A state of constant existence. It wasn't a life worth living, but it wasn't horrible enough to die. She had goals, sure, but she also had responsibilities. The prime of her life was over. Now came her duty, not just as a shinobi, but as a mother.

She made her way to the large gate of the warehouse, her hand resting on the door. A silence pause as she stood there for minutes. Her eyes staring at her hand, her mind drifting away.

Fangs dug underneath the flesh. Broken skin and torn bones. Pain surged through the body. It was suffering. It was torture. But he deserved it. He failed, and this was his punishment. He tried to cover his face with his arms, but the dogs only bit down on his limbs instead. They pulled him in each direction, only until he felt the sharp pains.

It felt like something had shocked him, and something did. but the pain he felt, was nothing compared to the frenzy. And after it came, the dogs left, wincing in pain. The sounds of crying and footsteps neared him. He looked up to the figure that had saved his life. His body bleeding, his clothes tattered. He had nothing. He lost it all. He had no value. Why did he save her?

"Why?" he asked, but they just helped him up. His body buckling under his own weight. He was weak. But he could feel hem trying to heal wounds. But it didn't work. But it soothed, for just a moment.

"Who are you?" he asked, his eyes swollen, trying to make out the shapes in front of him. he reached out to their face, touching and feeling the soft skin. They were so gentle, why would they help him.

"Stay with me. Stay with me. You're gonna be alright." they spoke to him.

"Who are you?" he asked. But whatever they said, he could only remember the name that answered.

"I'm. . . " His conscious fading in and out. "Ak. . . seirei."

She blinked for a moment, snapping back to reality. She opened the door, motioning for Chigetsu to leave. When he passed, she would shut it behind them.

Without looking up from her hat, she would address him. "Chigetsu," she would say to him. "I don't care if you pass or fail." she spoke, putting on her coat. "Just promise me you're going to come back home, alive." She coughed into her fist, only for it to hide itself in her coat.

"You're going to come back alive. You have to promise me." She said again, almost begging for him to say it back.

Just say you will. Was all she wanted to say.

She didn't want to be alone again.

Strength: C || Constitution: D || Stamina: C || Speed: B ||
Coordination: C || Intelligence: D || Perception: B
105/110 Chakra

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Post n°59

Re: Familial

by Chigetsu Fri Mar 06, 2020 8:43 pm

He stared at her back. It was something he was used to doing. The scenery was all the same as it had been the first time. Nothing was different, except the emotions hanging over the both of them. Something had changed in there. It ruminated in the air. He could feel it, even if he couldn’t explain what it was. None of it made sense. Maybe it was foolish of him to try and find ways to explain disperate feelings that come from the past and manifested in the present. He should have stopped looking for reason in these winds that blew him around a long time ago.

She opened the door and motioned for him to leave. He passed her. She shut it behind him.

The sound of her voice stopped him cold, again. Freezing, he almost swore he could feel the frost again on his skin. Tight and numb.

“I will. I’ll come back alive.” He promised her immediately, without even thinking of what he was saying. Not that a moment or two of thought would have changed his answer. “I won’t die at the exams. I promise.”

It would be a lie to say that he hadn’t considered a possibility like that in the past.

He thought back to those bitter moments. It felt like ages ago even though it was only a handful of months. Things had been different then. Doing something like this would have just been a joke. Now this was real, and so was the possibility of dying. As he became more serious about entering, and competing, and winning, the possibility of dying became smaller and smaller in his head. It stopped being real, even if it should have been.

He needed to begin talking this all a little more seriously.

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Post n°60

Re: Familial

by Bones! Fri Mar 06, 2020 10:37 pm

Akeruseirei Hozuki

Kirigakure's Exporter

She didn't know what else to say, what else to do. But she felt like saying something, anything. It felt like a painful goodbye. It felt like she was leaving, never to return. Something was leaving, but it wasn't the people that stood. It was people who had already left.

"Chigetsu," his name, rarely did she ever offer a nickname or a petname. Even with Engetsu, it was always formalities. Only with Kaisaki had she ever offered less than a title. To her, she was less than her husband. She was a nameless vagrant to happened to catch the eye of a noble man who had money. She felt like a nobody, an outsider. She was alienated by her own clan, and with it, all she felt like she could do, was fail. To have someone that saw her, for herself, and not for her title or her heritage, it made her happy. So why was she so sad?

"If you would like..." words spilled from her mouth. A part of her spoke through her. An out of body experience as she watched herself act, behave and preform in a way that was foreign to her. All of it felt wrong, yet, it felt natural and right. She wasn't going to try anymore. Trying wasn't working. She was going to do. There was no more trying anymore.

"The morning of, or perhaps the night before," All of it was weird, strange. Pieces of her soul rearranged in a manner, a pattern, an order that had never been. She wasn't someone different, but she saw through a new set of eyes. She saw clearly, and not from behind a stained glass window. She had a reason to push forward. A reason to return to the life she was born into. The life she was raised for. The life of a shinobi.

"We can have breakfast, or dinner. Like we used to." A long time ago, things were different. People were different. A time where dye and tattoos didn't mark moments where one tried to run from themselves. A time where it was about family, and not about trying to continue a legacy. She didn't care about the Hozuki. In fact, deep down, she hated how they were. She hated the warehouse. She hated the shipments. She hated the whole thing. She didn't want to pass down something she hated. She wanted to make something worth passing on.

". . . If you want."

She was going to make a world worth living for. She was going to carve a path for her son.

Strength: C || Constitution: D || Stamina: C || Speed: B ||
Coordination: C || Intelligence: D || Perception: B
105/110 Chakra

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Post n°61

Re: Familial

by Chigetsu Sun Mar 08, 2020 11:44 am

The experience of listening to what she said in the moment was completely foreign. It was weird, strange. Unpleasant, but not at the same time. This entire interaction, this entire day had been punctuated by awkward and forced interactions. Nothing was natural or fluid. It was the jerking of an old machine, struggling for breath. Everything had been, to some extent, mechanical for him. Stiff and automatic, even when doused in a layer of stuttering anxiety. The breaking of the veil changed that for a moment and turned this into something else. He didn’t know what to do. When things were mechanical he knew what would be coming next, even if he didn’t like it. Now it was in unknown territory. He didn’t know what was happening.

“. . . Okay.” He said it tentatively, having to think before giving a response. The question itself was alien, up until the point where she referenced the past. Like we used to. Having settled into this state of being it was difficult to imagine things changing. The status quo felt like a ditch. The longer you stayed in it the deeper it got, until going forward or backwards to something different became impossible. Just a step forward or back, no matter how small, took so much effort.

He wanted to change. It was why he was this, standing in front of her. Why he had long hair, dyed pink, and why he dressed the way he did.

Even with that moment of anger towards Kaisaki about the past, the past that she was putting in front of him here was preferable to the present.

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Post n°62

Re: Familial

by Bones! Sun Mar 08, 2020 1:56 pm

Akeruseirei Hozuki

Kirigakure's Exporter

The reply, however hesitant, gave her a peace of mind. Even if it was a small gesture, even if it didn't happen having him say it, to have him at least acknowledge her words meant she was doing something. Given, it wasn't the best way of showing her attempts, it was the best she could do for now. For now, she would extend every hand she could to help her son. A hand, that once was a fist, opened to a welcoming palm. She knew what it felt like. She was blind to her own actions. She had played along for so much time, and now, she was free. She was free from his influence. She was free from trying to please him. She was free of the honor she tried to hold herself up to. She didn't belong in this family, and in a way, neither did he.

She hung her head. She knew what she had done. Out of instinct. Out of her not knowing any better, to treat him as his father wanted, was much preferable than how her parents treated her. She tried to fill his life with the little things that brought her joy, but she knew now, none of it made him happy. Even if he learned, if he grew, it wasn't what he enjoyed. He ran from their traditions, while she drowned in it.

She was going to turn over. She was just going to do it. It was going to be as she wanted, not as they did. So she sat onto the ground, her back against the large gate.

"I'm sorry Chigetsu." She would say, "You can go home, or whatever you want. I won't tell you want to do anymore. You're your own person."

And for once, she gave him a choice.

Strength: C || Constitution: D || Stamina: C || Speed: B ||
Coordination: C || Intelligence: D || Perception: B
105/110 Chakra

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Post n°63

Re: Familial

by Chigetsu Sun Mar 08, 2020 5:24 pm

It was paralyzing. Suffocating. Being spoken to like this, being given this sort of choice. Even if it was what he had wanted, it was powerfully wrong. Just her body language. The way she hung her head, and her posture in general. It was like some fever dream. A mimicry of reality by his tired, feverish mind that was almost correct but not quite. He didn’t trust reality in those few moments while the words and images were still processing in his head. What was she saying? He didn’t know how he could possibly respond to any of this. His mouth would open for a moment, attempting to say something.

“W-Wh. . . W. . .” It was beyond a stutter, and his voice would drop off after it failed to get out a single word.

He had been given permission to leave. In part that was what he had been waiting for. At the same time, could he really leave now? Things had changed somehow, somewhere along the way. Things were different now. Irreversibly so. Something broke today. He wanted to run, but at the same time he was afraid to.

It was impossible to let go what happened over the course of years in a single night.

“. . . Okay. Thank you.” The words were hard to force out. Too hard. His throat was dry. “Y-You. . . I . . .”

“. . .I’m going to go home.” He turned up from the ground, having been unable to look at her as he spoke those first few words. “I’ll. I’ll see you soon, then.” He didn’t know what to say. It was impossible.

Even having said that he wouldn't move. Not yet.

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Post n°64

Re: Familial

by Bones! Sun Mar 08, 2020 10:32 pm

Akeruseirei Hozuki

Kirigakure's Exporter

She sat above ground, her rear pressed against the concrete as her back rested against the steel doors. But even so, she drowned. She drowned in memories of regret. She drowned in feelings she long forgot belonged to her. She sighed, the bitter taste of a pain from an ever open wound. The pain of never getting to say good bye. The pain of never getting to tell her parents how much she loved them, despite all they had done. The pain of being turned away, not even welcomed to observe their grave. Forbidden to see the carved headstones. It cut a would far deeper than any blade could. A memory she never shared, not in speech, nor relation. None could understand, and she liked it that way. She preferred none to share her pain. She didn't want anyone else to carry her burden. But was it too late for her to save her son from the same memory? She couldn't deny him the right to see his fallen parents. But perhaps there was a reason. Maybe it was for the best.

"Until next time, my son." She would say, she leaned her head back, staring at his back as he would be ready to leave. And again they came.

Her tears.

Strength: C || Constitution: D || Stamina: C || Speed: B ||
Coordination: C || Intelligence: D || Perception: B
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Chigetsu

Chigetsu: Posts : 602
Join date : 2019-11-30

Post n°65

Re: Familial

by Chigetsu Mon Mar 09, 2020 12:17 pm

He had taken a step back from this. The situation that this had become. He didn’t know what it was anymore. One step, and then another. She had given him permission to leave, but even so things still felt wrong in a way that he couldn’t explain. He was so used to a certain behavior from her. Something specific and familiar. Was he wrong this entire time? Everything he had thought about her, and everything he had done while here, was it because of some misunderstanding? Just thinking like that for even a moment brought a sourness out of him, spreading around in his body like a drop of food dye put into water. He didn’t want to have to question his own actions, or think back to the past now again and remember everything that had happened. He had never done anything wrong. That was something he repeated in his mind, and the tension in him would grow for a moment.

Turning his back on her, Chigetsu would leave. A trembling cocktail of emotions would swirl around inside of him, unresolved.

[Exit]

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